Dear Friends:

When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent word by his disciples and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?” (Mt 11:2-3).

It is the season of questions. Children are asked, “What do you want for Christmas?” Adults ask each other, “Are you ready for Christmas?”

Against these shallow and superficial probes of material wishes and burdens, John the Baptist’s inquiry, “Are you the one who is to come?,” has the lonely clatter of a stone ricocheting off the walls of a dark well–there is depth, but is there water?

Like John, we hear things–things that confuse us and cause us to doubt. We are caught and walled in by circumstances beyond our control. Nothing has turned out like we thought when we made brave and bold commitments of devotion–“One more powerful than I is coming after me” (Mt 3:11). “He may have come after me, but he seems to have passed me by,” we may think. Acidic questions corrode faith. “Why do others enjoy his blessings while I rot away here?”

Then we wonder, “Is it our fault?” We fear that our “Santa Claus” Jesus is “making a list, and checking it twice; he’s gonna’ find out who’s naughty or nice.” We just know in the pit of our stomach that our name is indelibly inscribed on the “naughty” list.

“You don’t deserve more than this, and there is no way out”  is the sound of those who would presume to speak for God slamming the doors of grace behind us. But often, we are the ones locking ourselves in behind bars of shame, despair and resentment.

“He must increase, but I must decrease,” we may have said, like John, at a time when rejoicing in the goodness of God came much easier to us (Jn 3:30). Now, in the dark and the cold, we wonder why what we’ve received doesn’t match the picture in the catalogue. Out of our heartbreak rises John’s question, “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?”

My barber, Janelle, tells me a sad story about false Messiahs and broken hearts as she cuts my hair. I initiate the conversation by answering a question with a question, “What do you really mean when you ask me ‘Are you ready for Christmas?'”

She sighs before answering. “I suppose that I am asking about the chaos. Are you prepared for the conflicts between what ought to be and what is–like the insane traffic, the pressure to buy everything in sight, the guilt, the depression, and the confusion? Or are you ready in your heart for what Christmas really was intended to be?

“OK,” I said. “I get that.”

She continues. “I think simple things are the best, like home-made gifts that tell someone you love that you have given a part of yourself to them.”

Janelle is the recently-divorced mother of daughters aged seven and twelve. She says, “My seven-year-old is worried that the picture she has made for her dad won’t be enough. ‘But Mom, I want Daddy to be happy.’ I tell her, ‘Its fine. Daddy will love it because you made it just for him. You can’t say that about something that you would buy him.’ ”

It is quiet for a moment as she trims around my temples, then she continues. “There is a woman who used to be a good friend of mine. One of her daughters is in the same second-grade classroom as my daughter. The woman became all weird and distant during my divorce. Then she told me that I am a bad mom because I got divorced and don’t spend enough time with the girls. She says that my girls don’t have enough fun. Whatever!”

“There was a parents’ program at my second-grader’s school last week. The teacher had them keep a journal for one of their activities. One of their assignments was to write an essay on ‘ ‘Why Santa should visit my house?’ The kids read from their journals to the parents.”

“The other woman’s daughter read her entry. The little girl wrote, ‘Santa should come to my house because my dad works a lot and so does my mom. I know how to take care of myself and my little brother.  Even when I get sick, I can make my own soup. But I’d like Santa to come to my house because I want someone to take care of me.'”

“They live in a multi-million dollar mansion, but I guess that’s not everything,” Janelle concludes.

She is standing behind me and I am glad because she can’t see the tears that flash into my eyes faster than I can keep up with them.

Then Janelle adds a benediction, “There is a reason for Christmas, but if you don’t believe in that reason, what you get is chaos. I’m just sayin’ . . . .”

“So true,” I reply because there is nothing else to say.

John, down there in the dungeon of Herod’s castle, is understandably having difficulty with the reason he’s in there and Jesus is out there. John’s given his whole life to preparing the hearts of the people for Christ. Where has that gotten him? Shades of the little girl in the mansion wanting Santa to come take care of her–John’s in a multi-million dollar palace, but he is a prisoner in the basement! The thing about irony is that someone is always on the losing end of the joke.

The family story goes that John leapt for joy in the womb of his mother Elisabeth when she was approached by Mary, pregnant with Jesus. Both cousins were miracles from a loving God. Their destiny together seemed so certain back on that sunny day in the Jordan River when the water was cool and clean, a dove flew, and the Father thundered love.

Now a question–that’s all that John has left for Jesus–a question, not even a prayer, really. Sometimes, it seems, a question is the only prayer we can pray.

The acrid bile of disappointment makes it hard for John to choke out his doubt to his disciples who’d followed him into this disaster. “Go to Jesus and ask him, “Are you the one who is to come, or are we to wait for another?”

The answer comes back from Jesus as soft and true as a well-used parchment scroll of the prophet Isaiah. “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news brought to them. And blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me” (Mt 11:4).

In our contemporary vernacular, I can hear Jesus saying, “Hey, Cuz, you have to know that I love you and the things that we longed for are finally happening. God is bigger and better than our people ever thought and they are starting to catch on to that. Don’t be mad at me for showing them what our Father is really like.”

What does John want? What do any of us really want? Can we accept it when what we have longed for is really happening even though it doesn’t arrive in the package we expected?  Is it that we want to be loved unconditionally, but only want to surrender conditionally? Why are we so quick to question God’s action or inaction, but so slow to question our own motivations? All good questions that we should ask of God and ourselves.

We need to ask questions of God. We must ask questions of God!

Questions, even doubts, are not sin, unless we use them to excuse our hearts from repentance. Jesus did not come to change our circumstances. He comes to us in our circumstances. That’s why being born in a stable shared with oxen and donkeys, even the lack of room at the inn, was of no consequence to him. The fact that he had no place to lay his head was meaningless to him, but questions from those he met on boats, at the town well, on mountaintops and the temple steps, sick rooms, dinner parties and street corners were priceless to him.

Because it is changed minds and hearts that Christ is after and minds and hearts will not change unless they question. An honest questioner of God has nothing to fear from God or from false messiahs. On the other hand, a so-called “trust” that does not result from questioning and testing is no trust at all.

Jesus is always gracious with our questions and doubts. In fact, his primary instruction about prayer is, “Ask.” He tells us, “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” (Mt 7:7-8).

It takes faith to ask. A lot of people live a lie, waiting for Santa Claus,or for no one particular at all, because they don’t have the guts to ask God who he really is. It’s worth noting that even in his doubt, John knows that he can get a straight answer from Jesus–“Are you the one. . .or shall we wait for another?” And Jesus isn’t insulted by John’s question. He’s actually more concerned that John isn’t offended by him.

Jesus’ answer to John isn’t an exercise in systematic theology or hermeneutics. Jesus knows that his cousin has put his whole life on the line to prepare the way for him and wants to know the truth about whether it was worth that sacrifice. Jesus understands with a knot in his own stomach that things are dark and stressful for John. So when Jesus replies to him it is not with an answer, but as The Answer–Emmanuel, God with us, full of grace and truth. “Go and tell John what you hear and see. . . .”

This is what John really wants to know–is God here among us doing what only God can do? I suspect that John was comforted with the word he received back from Jesus. “He is really increasing and I am really decreasing, and that’s as it should be. All is well, then.”

2,000 years later in this world where children, and maybe adults, want Santa Claus to come because no real person cares for them; where pretense is marketed and reality is scorned; where the question “Are you ready for Christmas?” panics the heart rather than brings it peace; the only question worth asking Jesus is “Are you the One?” He still and always is The Answer, Emmanuel, God with us. The old carol has it right–

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

‘Til He appear’d and the soul felt its worth.

–John Sullivan Dwight

“O taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy are those who take refuge in him” (Ps 34:8).
Under the mercy of Christ,

Kent

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Please note that the content and viewpoints of Mr. Hansen are his own and are not necessarily those of the C.S. Lewis Foundation. We have not edited his writing in any substantial way and have permission from him to post his content.

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Kent Hansen is a Christian attorney, author and speaker. He practices corporate law and is the managing attorney of the firm of Clayson, Mann, Yaeger & Hansen in Corona, California. Kent also serves as the general counsel of Loma Linda University and Medical Center in Loma Linda, California.

Finding God’s grace revealed in the ordinary experiences of life, spiritual renewal in Christ and prayer are Kent’s passions. He has written two books, Grace at 30,000 Feet and Other Unexpected Places published by Review & Herald in 2002 and Cleansing Fire, Healing Streams: Experiencing God’s Love Through Prayer, published by Pacific Press in spring 2007. Many of his stories and essays about God’s encompassing love have been published in magazines and journals. Kent is often found on the hiking trails of the southern California mountains, following major league baseball, playing the piano or writing his weekly email devotional, “A Word of Grace for Your Monday” that is read by men and women from Alaska to Zimbabwe.

Kent and his beloved Patricia are enjoying their 31st year of marriage. They are the proud parents of Andrew, a college student.