Dear Friends:

This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.

As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet:

 “Look! The virgin will conceive a child!

She will give birth to a son,

and they will call him Immanuel,

which means ‘God is with us.’”

.

When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.  But he did not have marital relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.

(Matthew 1:18-25, NLT)

There isn’t one of us who hasn’t been challenged in our relationships and our work, in our recreation and our spiritual life in knowing the right thing to do. Ever since Eve and Adam chose the knowledge of good and evil for themselves over a relationship of grace with God, we humans have agonized and obsessed over making the correct decision and taking the appropriate action in the situations in which we find ourselves.

We tear ourselves up with questions like, “Should I go or should I stay?” “Do I speak up or keep silent” “Is this the one for me or should I keep looking.” “Do I fight or compromise?” Should I stick to my principles or forgive?” What do I go with­my heart or my better judgment?”

These are questions that Joseph must have asked himself. We can learn something from his story.

Almost everything we know about Joseph is in this Scripture, and it boils down to this–Joseph is a man known to do the right thing. He is discrete, compassionate, and careful, determined and law abiding.

Joseph has the right to end the relationship, of course. He can have his pregnant fiancé stoned to death for infidelity. But having the right to do something does not always make it the right thing to do.

Joseph does not want to destroy Mary or cause her pain and shame. Still there are the considerations of the law and the need for personal vindication and protection of his reputation in the community.

Of course, Joseph has his feelings, but in his integrity he knows that feelings do not determine whether an action is right or wrong.

Joseph decides to go with the “safe,” reasonable and fair decision to quietly end the relationship. Mary will avoid shame and Joseph won’t look like the older man played for a fool by the younger woman. Most thinking, compassionate people would agree that this is a fair and reasonable solution.

Of course the reasonable and fair choice may work out for both parties, but there is an unavoidable measure of self-interest in most human decisions.

A large corporate client of my firm was facing a tough decision that would affect many employees adversely but would increase the value of the company. The owners of the firm were Christians of a tradition especially known for benevolence and social justice. The chairman spoke to the issue. “We have always tried to do the right thing over the years.” Then he added dryly, “I am sure that it is just coincidence that the right thing always turns out to be the thing that is in our self-interest.”

When one’s self-interest is protected, frequently another’s must suffer. That’s why so called “reasonable” choices can be heartbreaking for the one who lacks the power to define “reasonable.” The reasonable choice is rarely the loving choice because love by its very nature is unreasonable. True love gives everything away and expects nothing in return.

God, who is love, has a different idea for Joseph. As Solomon observed, “The human mind may devise many plans, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established” (Prov. 19:21). We worry and agonize through our dilemmas about the right thing to do until we are exhausted while God waits patiently to tell us his idea which is ever and always grace.

“Come to me and give me your burdens,” he tells us. “Rest . . . I’ll take care of you and what troubles you. You are up against the wall of ‘I can’t,’ but, ‘I am the Lord your God, and I can for you.”

Having made his fair and reasonable decision, Joseph lies down to sleep. Alone, at rest, in the posture of surrender, Joseph is presented with God’s plan in a dream. “Cherish Mary —  marry her, accept her child as the gift that he is, and name him ‘Jesus’ for his destiny is to save his people from their sins,” the angel tells Joseph.

How harsh and dark our anxious, proud, legalistic solutions can appear in the light of grace. Death by stoning! Divorce! Termination! Rejection!  Even our fair, reasonable, and eminently religious judgments look strained and shabby when God’s love illuminates them.

Within us the Holy Spirit stirs a gracious dream of something better.

If we yield to the Spirit, if we say, “Yes,” to the startling, but simple and straightforward possibility of reconciliation proposed by God, then we will awaken to “the dawn of redeeming grace.” The fire of love will ignite within our hearts to warm our spirits and light our way. The Apostle John expressed this truth in his gospel: “What has come into being in him [Jesus Christ] was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it” (Jn. 1:4-5).

The first shining miracle of Jesus coming to this earth is Joseph’s acceptance of the pregnant Mary in unconditional love.

“Emmanuel…God is with us.” The wonder and delight of this is that Jesus, “The Light of All People,” shines as brightly in the night for you and me as he did for Joseph. In the words of “O Holy Night” his law is love and his gospel is peace.

Like Joseph, will you and I also awaken to faithfully follow Jesus and abandon our own anxious and futile search for “the right thing to do”?

“O taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy are those who take refuge in him” (Ps 34:8).

Under the mercy of Christ,

Kent

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Please note that the content and viewpoints of Mr. Hansen are his own and are not necessarily those of the C.S. Lewis Foundation. We have not edited his writing in any substantial way and have permission from him to post his content.

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Kent Hansen is a Christian attorney, author and speaker. He practices corporate law and is the managing attorney of the firm of Clayson, Mann, Yaeger & Hansen in Corona, California. Kent also serves as the general counsel of Loma Linda University and Medical Center in Loma Linda, California.

Finding God’s grace revealed in the ordinary experiences of life, spiritual renewal in Christ and prayer are Kent’s passions. He has written two books, Grace at 30,000 Feet and Other Unexpected Places published by Review & Herald in 2002 and Cleansing Fire, Healing Streams: Experiencing God’s Love Through Prayer, published by Pacific Press in spring 2007. Many of his stories and essays about God’s encompassing love have been published in magazines and journals. Kent is often found on the hiking trails of the southern California mountains, following major league baseball, playing the piano or writing his weekly email devotional, “A Word of Grace for Your Monday” that is read by men and women from Alaska to Zimbabwe.