Dear Friends,

Last week, I told the story of my friend Shon gently interceding to stop
me from delivering a harsh and vindictive response to an injustice
because she knew that such an action would not represent God’s best for
my life. This is a continuation of that message.

An old story echoed through my soul in that moment when Shon stopped me.
It is told in 1 Samuel 25.

David and his guerilla band took refuge in the Wilderness of Paran in
the hill country of southern Judea, late one winter. It was just after
Samuel had died. Saul and his army were on the move to hunt them down.

Paran is a rugged wilderness to this day, laced with many ravines, wadis
and caves. In the midst of it was the little hill town of Carmel. This
was the home of Nabal, a wealthy rancher, who possessed a flock of 3,000
sheep and 1,000 goats.

There are many contradictions in the brief story of Nabal. He was a
rich, powerful man and a Calebite, a descendant of the brave Caleb, a
hero when the children of Israel conquered the Promised Land. Yet,
Nabal’s name meant “Fool.” Nabal’s wife Abigail is described as “clever
and beautiful” , but Nabal is described as “surly and mean”
with words that can translate to “harsh, stubborn and really evil” (v.
3).

Over the course of several weeks, David and his men stepped in several
times to protect Nabal’s herds and herdsmen from the depredations of the
rustlers, bandits, lions, leopards and bears who also found a home in
that desert. These protective interventions were acts of kindness and
courtesy expected in that time and place. Life was hard and dangerous
and mutual aid was the basic ethic of community as it continues to be to
this day.

Jesus endorsed and refined this ethic of love when he said that loving
our neighbor as ourselves was a close second to our loving devotion to
God in the priorities of life (Matt 22:37-39). The Apostle Paul
described this love of neighbor as a personal responsibility of
Spirit-filled, Christ-followers. “My friends, if anyone is detected in a
transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a
one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not
tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way fulfill the law of
Christ” (Gal 6:1-2).

David heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep at his headquarters in the
town of Carmel. This was a time of both hard work and feasting.
David sent ten of his young men into Carmel with a courteous and
respectful request for some food, anything Nabal could spare for his
hungry men in light of their good conduct and assistance to Nabal and
his herdsmen (v. 4-9).

Nabal was churlish and sarcastic in response. He insulted David and his
family and compared the well-known vanquisher of Goliath and military
hero of Israel to a runaway slave and a vagabond. Then he dismissed
David’s request out of hand (v. 10-11).

When David’s men returned and reported the insult, David’s reaction was
swift and tough, sounding like something out of a John Wayne western. He
strapped on his sword and ordered, “Every man strap on your sword!” Six
hundred battle-hardened soldiers were ready to fight to revenge the
insult on the honor of their leader. David took 400 men with him and set
out for Nabal’s homeplace in Carmel. He left 200 men behind to guard
their equipment (v. 12-13).

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, one of the young herdsmen told the
beautiful Abigail about the insults Nabal had served up to David’s men.
He told her that David’s men had acted honorably at all times and had
protected Nabal’s livestock and employees from real harm.
“You need to do something,” the young man said, “your husband’s insults
and abuse may get us all killed, but he’s so obstinate that no one can
talk to him” (v. 14-17).

The wise and resourceful Abigail didn’t waste her breath on Nabal.
She immediately moved to deal with the problem. She organized a supply
train with food loaded on donkeys and sent her young male servants
riding ahead of her to meet David. She followed on a donkey riding down
the mountain trail towards David’s camp. The two groups met on the trail
(v. 20).

David was furious and told her so. “We wasted a lot of effort protecting
your husband’s property in the wilderness and all we received were
insults in return. I don’t have to take this! May God curse me if I
haven’t killed Nabal and every male in his miserable household by
morning” (v. 21-22).

Abigail calmly proceeded to give a master clinic on effective dispute
resolution. She did ten things towards the effective end of the
conflict. It is good to study the list for there is much to be learned
from Abigail.

First, she didn’t delay in dealing with the problem. She had already
moved quickly to gather the supplies and send them to David. When she
arrived on the scene the Scripture says, “She hurried and alighted from
her donkey” (v. 23a). David had been swift in going on the attack.
Abigail was just as swift in moving to head it off.

There is an old legal maxim that “Justice delayed is justice denied.”
The correlative spiritual principal conveyed by Paul is “do not let the
sun go down on your anger” (Eph 4:26). Anger is molten emotion like lava
from a volcano. When it isn’t dealt with, human nature tends to harden
into resentment. Things like pride, fear, shame and pain often fuel
resistance to resolution with the excuse that a cooling-off period will
help. But cooling-off can harden rather than soften positions. If
physical circumstances permit, an effort to quickly defuse and resolve
the situation is the better wisdom.

Second, Abigail didn’t posture. She humbled herself “and fell on her
face before David, bowing to the ground” (v. 23b). We so often let pride
and fear stop us from being conciliatory. Is the healing of hearts and
the avoidance of a bigger dispute the goal or will pride and fear carry
the day? Do we want to keep scoring points or end the contest? The
temptation is to puff ourselves up and seethe in self-righteousness
whether we are right or wrong, but Solomon again offers an alternative:
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Pr
15:1).

Third, Abigail acted in true intercession. People glibly speak of
intercessory prayer like it’s lobbing Nerf balls at the problem from a
safe distance. True intercession means the intercessor takes on the
identity of the one for whom intercession is made. When Christ
interceded, he took our place and gave his life to save ours even though
we didn’t deserve such an extravagant gift. Nabal didn’t deserve
Abigail’s intercession, but she put her life on the line for her foolish
husband. “Upon me alone, my lord, be the guilt,” she told David (v. 24).

Fourth, Abigail spoke the unvarnished truth. She offered no excuses and
did not attempt to defend Nabal’s indefensible conduct. She told David
that Nabal’s name was “Fool” and he’d acted like one. She urged David
not to take Nabal seriously. If she had known that David’s messengers
had come to the ranch seeking help, she would have handled things
differently (v. 25). Patronizing people with real grievances by offering
excuses for what injured them instead of addressing their injuries is a
sure-fire way to escalate conflict.

Fifth, Abigail agreed with David on the key points of his position.
She reminded David that he had always shown restraint in the past even
though he had real enemies that deserved his vengeance including Nabal.
She hoped that David’s enemies would receive the justice they deserved
(v. 26). Conceding the good points of the other side often reduces the
inflammation of anger. How can we argue with someone who agrees with us?

Sixth, Abigail showed good faith by offering redress. She offered the
present of the food she had brought to David and the young men who had
been insulted. Talk is cheap, but backing words with costly action makes
a real contribution towards resolution (v. 27)

Seventh, Abigail asked for forgiveness for what Nabal had done to
violate David’s dignity and honor. Nabal was solely responsible for the
injury and should have been the one asking for forgiveness, but Abigail
stood in for Nabal in true intercession when she sought David’s
forgiveness. Technicalities should never stand between us and doing the
right thing (v. 28a)

Eighth, Abigail appealed to David’s relationship with the Lord. She said
the Lord would ensure David’s future because David was doing the right
thing for the right reasons in fighting the Lord’s battles. Her deftly
drawn implication was that David could reliably trust God to take care
of David and everything that concerned him because David’s fate was
inextricably tied to God’s goodness (v. 28b-29).

Ninth, Abigail showed her faith in the Lord’s plans for David’s life and
calling. She stated unequivocally that the Lord would confirm David as
“prince over Israel” (v. 30). Abigail believed that God’s best for
Israel would be God’s best for David. She affirmed David in his higher
calling.

Tenth, Abigail appealed to David’s conscience and reputation. She
believed that David was going to succeed in fulfilling his anointing as
king over Israel. When that happened, David should have no dark stories
of personal vengeance and bloodshed in his past and on his conscience
(v. 31a). She cautioned David that how he reached the throne was as
important as getting there. David needed to be a legitimate force for
good and not simply a force. Like my friend Shon did for me that day on
the sidewalk, Abigail expressed her desire for David’s best. She wanted
and expected more for him and from him than he was expecting of himself.

All Abigail asked in return was that David remember her and their talk
after the Lord gave him victory (v.31b).

David was overwhelmed. He thanked God for sending Abigail to him. He
thanked God for Abigail’s good sense and kindness in keeping David from
taking things into his own hands and shedding blood in anger instead of
trusting God. He thanked God that he hadn’t hurt Abigail by violence
against her household (v.32-33).

David told Abigail to “Go in peace.” He had heard what she had to say
and agreed with her (v. 35). The crisis was over and bloodshed was
averted.

Abigail returned home where Nabal was hosting a huge drunken feast.
She waited until he sobered up the next morning and then told him what
had happened. Nabal’s stupid obstinacy had almost cost him everything
including his life. Nabal had a stroke and collapsed into a coma after
she finished telling him the news. He died ten days later (v. 36-38).

It is an amazing story because the grace in it is amazing. Throughout
history, in every place and time, God has had his witnesses of good
sense and courage who offer up themselves as intercessors in faith that
God’s love exceeds anything we can ask or think of in the way of
justice. Because we are truly loved, we are not bound to having to grab
what we can get in the here and now including justice.

Eternity is the large home of our generous and capable God and there is
plenty of room. Having covered our debts with his life, Jesus is in
heaven now preparing a place for us and he will return to take us there
(John 14:1-3).

Shon and I had spent many hours discussing the dimensions and
implications of our heavenly Father’s love for us. I first initiated
those conversations with her, but when she stepped in front of me she
was acting on what she’d learned from me.

Shon set aside her own desire for vindication and told me “Don’t do that
because it wouldn’t be what is best for you.” Her intercession rebuked
me with the fierce tenderness of grace unleashed. The pupil now
surpassed the teacher.

Years later, this past week in fact, news of a hurtful injustice to
friends and colleagues was brought to me and I told my team, “Strap on
your swords,” and I did so myself. As we moved towards the
confrontation, I remembered the good sense of Abigail and of Shon.
These women spoke to me out of memory with God-breathed love that said
just because you can join battle and force justice does not mean it is
the best or right thing for you to do.

It is the ministry of God’s grace to use the powerless to humble the
powerful. There are no exceptions to this truth as David observed in
Psalm 25:9-10– .

He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
All the paths of the Lord are
steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant,
and his decrees.

May I always seek the Lord’s best as my best. May you do the same.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy are those who take refuge in him” (Ps 34:8).

Under the mercy of Christ,

Kent

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Please note that the content and viewpoints of Mr. Hansen are his own and are not necessarily those of the C.S. Lewis Foundation. We have not edited his writing in any substantial way and have permission from him to post his content.

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Kent Hansen is a Christian attorney, author and speaker. He practices corporate law and is the managing attorney of the firm of Clayson, Mann, Yaeger & Hansen in Corona, California. Kent also serves as the general counsel of Loma Linda University and Medical Center in Loma Linda, California.

Finding God’s grace revealed in the ordinary experiences of life, spiritual renewal in Christ and prayer are Kent’s passions. He has written two books, Grace at 30,000 Feet and Other Unexpected Placespublished by Review & Herald in 2002 and Cleansing Fire, Healing Streams: Experiencing God’s Love Through Prayer, published by Pacific Press in spring 2007. Many of his stories and essays about God’s encompassing love have been published in magazines and journals. Kent is often found on the hiking trails of the southern California mountains, following major league baseball, playing the piano or writing his weekly email devotional, “A Word of Grace for Your Monday” that is read by men and women from Alaska to Zimbabwe.

 

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