Dear Friends:

The chill betrayed the bright sunshine when hurricane-strength Santa Ana winds blew on the last day of November. High on the roof of the School of Dentistry building, a hungry red-tailed hawk perched, hunched down against the gusts and waited for lunch.

I have often heard that hawk’s distinctive “kree-eee-ar” cry and have looked up to see it circling over the Medical Center where pigeons roost on the roof between helicopter landings and takeoffs. I imagine it screamed on this day too when it spied a pigeon making its way in short flights along the north side of the Coleman Pavilion seeking shelter against the blasting winds. No one would have heard it over the roar.

The angle of attack was short and steep. The hawk accelerated its dive to strike the pigeon before it reached the end of the building and could take shelter under the cars in the parking lot beyond.

Working in his second-floor office, my friend, Dr. Richard Peverini, heard the slam against his window. Startled he looked up to see a streak of white pigeon feathers and avian body fluids across the glass. He looked down and saw two birds lying on the sidewalk below. The fierce hawk was dead, lying on its back with talons still extended, highlights of bronze and red glinting in the sun as the wind ruffled its plumage. The hapless gray and white pigeon lay crumpled and still beside it.

The hawk may have misjudged the strength of the once-in-a-generation windstorm in the passage between the buildings and was vulnerable to it with wings folded in the streamlined dive.

More likely, the raptor saw the sunlight streaming through the windows of Richard’s corner office illuminating the landscape on the other side of the building and thought open-space would allow it to safely pull out of its dive with its prey in grasp. Instead the impact of the hurtling strike against the unforgiving surface of the glass was so violent that the soft body of the pigeon splattered rather than cushion the body of the hawk against death.

Richard is a kind and thoughtful neonatologist and executive who loves nurturing premature babies to health and enjoys the logic and elegance of mathematics. The savage collision within a few feet of where he was sitting was a thought-provoking reminder of just how irrational and brief life can be and of the ever-present shadow of sin on a cloudless day.

He brought me into his office to see the stain on the glass, small feathers still waving in the wind like a white flag of surrender that came too late.

Richard and I share a belief that God is always active and present, though in ways that are often mysterious to humans and to keen-eyed hawks. Job spoke of “That path no bird of prey knows, and the falcon’s eye has not seen it” (Job 28:7). We take our lessons with gratitude where we find them.

The hawk’s hunger on a tough day for hunting was real. Its desire, instincts, eyesight, speed, sharp talons and even the pigeon were the gifts of its Creator. The way ahead seemed so right, but the winds were treacherous and the light proved false. In the end, the obsessive pursuit proved deadly for the pursuer as well as the pursued.

Solomon wrote, “The appetite of the workers works for them; their hunger urges them on” (Pr 16:26). We have our talents. We have our goals. We have a hunger for success. Why not put what God has given us to good use?

So we take flight in our pursuit of the good, forgetting that the lines between temptation and calling and presumption and grace are very thin. We do our very best with what we have and push on fast and hard, but is it the right goal? Is it the right time? Is it the right course?

Just before Solomon made his observation about receiving motivation from our hunger, he gave this warning: “Sometimes there is a way that seems to be right, but in the end it is the way to death” (Pr 16:26).

It can be fatal to attribute the easy and obvious choice and the path of least resistance to the will of God. The mere fact that “a way seems to be right” is a red-flag to stop and take a second look and listen for God’s questions.

We pray like God’s a vending machine of practical advice, but God speaks to us in questions as well as answers. The only reason we don’t listen for his questions is that we think we have all the answers. He has some hard questions he wants to ask us —

What are you really doing? Why are you doing it?

What does my Word say about this?

Have you honestly shared your thoughts and feelings with me? Are you waiting with a surrendered and open heart for an answer?

Are you simply giving in to circumstances or are you giving your best to me? Are you doing this just because you can, or because I have asked this of you?

Are you listening to my call to you or are you responding to your hunger, anger, loneliness or exhaustion?

Is that your cross you are picking up or is the main attraction of what you want to do that it requires no change or sacrifice from you?

If you achieve your goal, will it honor you or honor me? Are you so convicted of your righteousness that you assume that to honor you is to honor me?

To whom are you committing if you go ahead?

If I asked you to stop and turn around today, could you? would you?

Do you trust my love for you? If I tell you to “Let go,” will you?

Who is in possession of your heart and its desires, you or me?

All of those are honest questions that must be answered, but it’s the last question that we must grapple with before we can see the true path ahead of us.

One of the early Christians said, “Do not give your heart to that which does not satisfy your heart.” “Follow your heart,” the world blithely tells us, but unless the Lord possesses our heart and his Spirit controls us we will be blind and vulnerable to the treacherous winds and false light that lures us on until we smack the wall and fall to our death (See, Rom 6:21).

God speaks to us directly, “My child, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways” (Pr 23:26). Only the surrendered heart receives his light. It is only when the light of the Holy Spirit illuminates our hearts that we can see the way he wants us to go (1 Cor 2:9-10; Eph 1:17-18).

“O taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy are those who take refuge in him” (Ps 34:8).

Under the mercy of Christ,

Kent

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Please note that the content and viewpoints of Mr. Hansen are his own and are not necessarily those of the C.S. Lewis Foundation. We have not edited his writing in any substantial way and have permission from him to post his content.

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Kent Hansen is a Christian attorney, author and speaker. He practices corporate law and is the managing attorney of the firm of Clayson, Mann, Yaeger & Hansen in Corona, California. Kent also serves as the general counsel of Loma Linda University and Medical Center in Loma Linda, California.

Finding God’s grace revealed in the ordinary experiences of life, spiritual renewal in Christ and prayer are Kent’s passions. He has written two books, Grace at 30,000 Feet and Other Unexpected Places published by Review & Herald in 2002 and Cleansing Fire, Healing Streams: Experiencing God’s Love Through Prayer, published by Pacific Press in spring 2007. Many of his stories and essays about God’s encompassing love have been published in magazines and journals. Kent is often found on the hiking trails of the southern California mountains, following major league baseball, playing the piano or writing his weekly email devotional, “A Word of Grace for Your Monday” that is read by men and women from Alaska to Zimbabwe.