A Word of Grace — October 27, 2014

Published on by Mary Carol Howell

Monday Grace

Dear Friends,

One of the overlooked commands of Scripture is “Be thankful” (1 Cor 10:30; Col 3:15; Col 4:2; Heb 12:28). The prescription is for a state of being for the believer. It is not an instruction to do something.

Have you ever gritted your teeth and tried to force yourself to be thankful? True thankfulness is an attitude of heart that cannot be coerced or manufactured. It is always a voluntary action hence the term “thanksgiving.” The Lord prizes a glad flow of humility and appreciation that flows from a heart that understands it is the beneficiary of grace (2 Cor 9:7).

A child may be compelled to say “thank you” as an homage to politeness. This is an important lesson in respect and a necessary lubricant against the frictions of human relations. Ultimately,  personal knowledge and joyful experience with the goodness and unconditional love of the Lord leads to the expressions of thanksgiving and praise described in Psalm 100.

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth.
    Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come into his presence with singing.
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Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he that made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
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Enter his gates with thanksgiving.
    and his courts with praise.
    Give thanks to him, bless his name.
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For the Lord is good;
    his steadfast love endures forever,
    and his faithfulness to all generations.

To know that we have a God who made us, claims us, and looks out for our well-being for no other motive than his goodness and love is the artesian spring of gratitude. Giving thanks is to reverence our Creator and the source of eternal life with the voluntary response of love and joy.

There is an old but true saying that “Love isn’t love until you give it away.” Love is an action that seeks the best for the beloved in kindness. Just so, thanksgiving isn’t thanksgiving until it is expressed. “I thank you,” is a simple declaration of appreciation that confesses someone else is responsible for our blessing.

When it comes to our relationship with Jesus Christ, our thanksgiving is an acknowledgment that “in him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). My selfish, arrogant, wary heart is being transformed into a chamber of gratitude and thanksgiving the longer that I walk with Jesus and the more I learn of his love for me.

Experiencing the love that transforms a heart from selfishness to gratitude is awesome and liberating. Beyond whetting your thirst for that kind of transformation, my words are inadequate to describe the mysterious power of the love that is the essence of Christ living in you (Col 1:27). To know this for yourself, you need to invite Jesus to live in your heart and yield to him daily as your voluntary choice of faith.

I can tell you that living with Jesus in faith will grow your desire to love and give thanks. This consequence of faith was revealed to me in a deeper way through a recent exchange with an attorney colleague.

Serving as general counsel for a large faith-based academic health sciences center gives me the opportunity to retain and work with some world-class attorneys. These superb professionals working with our own in-house legal team have achieved remarkable successes in protecting and advancing institutional interests.

Two years ago, we invited these men and women to a dinner to thank them for their service and to explain our faith-based mission. Afterwards, one prominent litigator was overheard to say, “It’s nice to be reminded why we wanted to become lawyers in the first place.” Another attorney said to me, “No one ever thanks us. We are just glad when clients pay our bill.” Many more of the fifty attorneys present that evening expressed similar sentiments.

I am prone to say “thank you” frequently and fervently, but I’ve discovered not everyone can handle that. A partner at a major international law firm, with whom I’ve worked closely for many years, recently told me, “We are not like you. We don’t know what to say when you praise us and thank us.” He was obviously upset so I sent him an email.

I was on a cell phone in a busy hotel lobby when I spoke with you this afternoon, so I am not sure that I heard everything you were trying to say, but you seemed to be making a distinct point that you are uncomfortable with our expressions of gratitude for the services of you and your colleagues and you do not know how to respond.
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Whatever you are getting at be assured that we understand that our relationship is first and foremost based on business and professionalism. We are not looking to your firm for anything more than quality legal services at a fair price when requested by us.
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The fact that my colleagues and I frequently express our gratitude for those services may be unusual as you have noted in the past, but that is unfortunate.
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The indifferent, “you’re only doing what we pay you to do” treatment of attorneys by clients may be typical, but it should not be the norm. Gratitude is a normal result of the faith that Kerry, Chris and I all hold dear. Our faith is the primary reason that we serve at Loma Linda. Our gratitude rises from our faith and acknowledges that what we receive from you is appreciated even beyond what we pay for it. People of faith tend to be grateful because gratitude expresses our understanding that we are the beneficiaries of skills and gifts of others including our God and those people he brings to our aid as we serve him.
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We appreciate those, like you and your colleagues, who help us be a better organization and better professionals because you do your jobs well on our behalf and with an attitude of client service.
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We consider access to the assistance of counsel of your caliber when we need it to be a business necessity, but also a blessing that we do not take for granted. So we give you a heartfelt “thank you.” A simple “You’re welcome” or a “my pleasure” will always suffice, but our gratitude is not dependent on your response.
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We do appreciate your assistance and many kindnesses over the years. We look forward to working with you and your colleagues in the future.
I love and respect you,
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Kent
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He called me after a few days with a warm and personal response of love and affection. Decades of soul-calluses acquired in the competitive, harsh environment of corporate litigation had desensitized him to gratitude. When I gave him thanks and expressed my love for him, it started to peel away at those calluses and if felt strange and uncomfortable. He must have liked the result for he began adding “thanks” to his email to me and signs them from time to time with the closing, “My love to you.”

Men especially have a hard time saying to other men, “I love you,” and “Thank you.” We grapple with our inadequacies revealed in the stresses of our personal and professional lives, but pride keeps us struggling to maintain the pretense of our self-sufficiency. It’s as if admitting our affection and thankfulness for another man will breach our defenses and leave us vulnerable to misunderstandings and a flood of alien emotions. But when we know–really know in our hearts, not just our heads–that we are loved by the God who made us and redeemed us from alienation and exile, our reservations against expressing love and gratitude melt away.

We were made for a life of loving relationship in the providence of God. When we succumb to the lie that life is a battle, not a gift, the wounds that we receive and we inflict rob us of faith, hope and love. We compete with each other for what God alone in loving kindness and mercy can give us. An unused well will clog and dry up. A heart without  faith and gratitude will choke with selfishness and wither.

Fear and selfishness keep us trying to eke out an existence in faithless, loveless deserts where everyone we encounter is a potential enemy. Faith pulls us out of ourselves and thanksgiving renews the flow of love and mercy that God gives us to water and nourish our lives in the beauty and holiness of communion. It is the difference of going it alone or going with God. It is hard to believe that we struggle with this choice, but we will keep doing so until we know and rely on the love that God has for us. The moment we come to that truth is when gratitude begins its healing work in us.

“O taste and see that the Lord is good. Happy are those who take refuge in him” (Ps 34:8).

Under the mercy of Christ,

Kent

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Please note that the content and viewpoints of Mr. Hansen are his own and are not necessarily those of the C.S. Lewis Foundation. We have not edited his writing in any substantial way and have permission from him to post his content.

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Kent HansenKent Hansen is a Christian attorney, author and speaker. He practices corporate law and is the managing attorney of the firm of Clayson, Mann, Yaeger & Hansen in Corona, California. Kent also serves as the general counsel of Loma Linda University and Medical Center in Loma Linda, California.

Finding God’s grace revealed in the ordinary experiences of life, spiritual renewal in Christ and prayer are Kent’s passions. He has written two books, Grace at 30,000 Feet and Other Unexpected Placespublished by Review & Herald in 2002 and Cleansing Fire, Healing Streams: Experiencing God’s Love Through Prayer, published by Pacific Press in spring 2007. Many of his stories and essays about God’s encompassing love have been published in magazines and journals. Kent is often found on the hiking trails of the southern California mountains, following major league baseball, playing the piano or writing his weekly email devotional, “A Word of Grace for Your Monday” that is read by men and women from Alaska to Zimbabwe.

 

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